Green Flare Sighted in Woking

“At midnight, on the 12th of August

A huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth

Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling towards us

Came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth”

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Recently, seismic shifts in astronomical exploration of the red planet  has sparked lively debate between the scientific and journalistic communities. We spoke to a Professor Ogilvy - currently the resident astronomer of the Horsell Common Observatory - who was quoted as saying  “Despite the recent volcanic activity on the surface of Mars, which has caused my journalistic acquaintance George Herbert to get a little over-excited, I'm afraid to say - the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.”

However this "million to one" outcome is rapidly becoming the commonly accepted truth with morning newspaper headings citing “MEN FROM MARS” 

Above: Artist’s impression of the Cylinder that appeared on Horsell Common. Painting by Peter Goodfellow

After the first Cylinder crashed on Horsell Common in Woking, a peaceful welcoming party attempted to communicate with those inside, but within minutes the group were faced with an extremely unusual, and never before seen, weapon. This has since been colloquially named a 'Heat Ray' on account of its savage, unearthly invisible ray of heat.

With the Martians invasion imminent, experts recommend seeking shelter at:
56 Leadenhall Street EC3A 2BJ
and are urging people to plan their escape now, before it’s too late.

Save 20% now

Use code GREENFLARE20 for 20% off Standard tickets (excluding Saturdays) until 11:55pm 22nd August 2023